One

I have started this blog to keep my thoughts organized while I travel and study and research in Paris this summer, July 2 to the 20th. Though I am only starting this on the 13, I don’t really think it matters... I have written extensively in my “ink” blog that has been my constant companion for the past week and a half. It appears to be showing some age, though who wouldn’t after being dragged around one of the top ten biggest cities in the world, trapped in a green saddlebag and being assaulted by whatever implement happens to be in there that day... today it was a piece of fruitcake that I mistakenly thought would be chocolate, and upon discovering it was not, hastily stowed in my bag in the hopes that my hunger pangs would eventually overtake my taste buds’ very specific preferences. They did not... and in revenge for not being wanted, the fruitcake laid waste to my notebook the best it could... which meant leaving small little cake-colored stains on the edges of my journal pages. I got the final word. It’s now sitting at the bottom of a poubelle waiting for its demise. I have also written a lot on facebook, and in emails to people... I will include these as well.

I was going to wait until I got back to Kent to read my writings, but as I have three hours+ until my cousin arrives from Montpellier, and I am feeling particularly rigorous right now, I’ll dive into it right now. No time like the present, and all that, right? I just hope this attitude stays with me when the semester begins, which for me is right when I get home… I’m starting a three-week course on Earth History.

So, here goes. I will add more notes after having read and dissected what I wrote earlier. I am feeling like I have a very good mastery of the basics so far… like, I could probably teach a course to a class of undergraduates, even a motivated class.

But I worry about a lot of things relating to my research thus far… and before I write I want to lay them out.

1) I did not focus enough on the Muslim identity question
Upon reflection, I think this is a fair critique. But I still have hopefully many interviews to go on Thursday and Friday… I know that if I have not done enough by Friday at prayer time, my instincts will kick in and I will find the courage to approach immigrants in the North African areas and ask them about their lives in France. I think I have quite a lot on French national identity… and perhaps this is where I am more interested in going with the thesis. I hope the Honor’s College, who accepted my proposal and gave me a cool thou to go on this trip and research, will understand if the final work deviates a bit from the original idea. I imagine this happens a lot, and dare I say, every time, you have an idea, and then you really dig deep into it. In the final analysis, I will focus my research wherever I think it is the most pertinent.

2) I didn’t do enough “substantive” research while in France
Perhaps. But at the end of the trip, through fourteen days, I will have (I apologize for the double colon): gone to the Arab World Institute Library, done up to seven interviews, observed the French Parliament in debate, talked to Jean and his girlfriend extensively on the subject, lived in a banlieue and observed the social interactions, gone to the Rue Myrha area twice for observation and once for interview emailed and or called and or visited about twenty professors, the Arab World Institute, SOS Racisme, the Office for Intégration et La Ville Politique, read every article in my possession, taken notes on possible sources to use for the final paper, and followed current events like it was my job (well, kind of…). I don’t feel like I took too much time for just chilling. I have been in a constant state of drowsiness, heat exhaustion, dehydration, and stress over keeping my shit in order (AKA not losing anything…)… I think I’ve done a lot. Maybe not all I should have… but I do feel like I have an incredible grasp over the situation here, especially the controversy surrounding the veil, and the difference between that question, and then immigrant struggles for jobs, better schooling, less discrimination, etc. This needs to be further developed, I know, but I have a great outline by which to go when I start the actual writing when the semester begins. The carol awaits…

Didn’t have enough to do while in France
I agree with this. What I could have done better is to make more contacts before I went, been more proactive up to now about approaching people, called instead of emailed, spent my weekend a little better (more work, less free time). The being proactive thing has been difficult, for sure… my flopping language skills have been really stressing me out and definitely not augmenting my confidence to approach random strangers and ask them intimate details on their lives. The other things, many of the professors, including Rita Kastoryano and Christian Joppke, are on vacation. So was the man from the Bureau d’intégration, and probably a lot of other contacts who are now lost to me. That was going to happen no matter if I called them three months before I left or three days… I will need to come up with a dossier of names and contact information for some serious email interviewing and possibly Skyping.

Now that I’ve dissected those, I want to acknowledge in fairness some things I had no control over, or very little at least, which prevented me from having 100% success. These include: many contacts being on vacation, the apartment being an hour from the city center, my all-of-a-sudden weak French skills, the heat and other physical detriments, money, time, unfamiliarity with phones, subway and bus lines, etc. It is not important to me about laying blame… but I want to absolve myself psychologically. I have a fear of failure, for sure, and knowing that my shortcomings on this trip weren’t all mine to stagger under, helps some.

So anyway, finally, let’s get to the transcription and subsequent comments-upon reflection that arise from them, and you’ll forgive me if I make some edits to a few poorly written sentences…